Decided to re-open this blog. Using it to communicate with my Spanish speaking friends in Peru...blogs will be in Espanol for a while - Thank you ;-)
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Finding my Pride
Had to force myself to sit down and write something before I got rusty. It seems like weeks but I know it's only been a week. I know it's a week because that is the exact time I got my new, shiny PS3. Life has not been the same since then. Tweaking the system, so it has a personal touch takes a little bit, and figuring out a new game takes a little longer. I have been playing Oblivion, and it is, to say the least, quite involving. Getting a new game console came around at a time when I feel quite fed up with 360. I logged on and it took me like 5 tries to get in to my page and 3 more times to post a new blast. I guess the last time I blogged on it was enough. Do not need any aggravation from it. I do not know if it is 360's fault or my own fault that I have been away from the internet but it feels weird. It reminds me of my elementary school days. It always felt weird after summer vacations and you started a new grade. The people and the building were the same but there was something strange and new about it, you didn't know what it was but it didn't feel the same. Anyways, this was quite an eventful weekend. Not only was I working but I had also volunteered to hang out at the TG booth in the Pride Festival in Ft Lauderdale. To top it off, the girls and I stayed up late celebrating my birthday, Friday nite. I had mixed emotions that day, I do not know if going out and partying is getting old or my interests are elsewhere. I had a great time and I appreciated that some friends I hadn't seen in a while showed up. But still I felt this weird feeling that deep inside I was not having as much fun as I wanted.Maybe the fact that my kids have not been in touch as much is weighing heavily on my conscience. I do not know. Pride Festival on Saturday was the total opposite. I didn't know what to expect and I ended up very satisfied with the experience.I have discussed this with G and it seems that attending a Pride event is very politically motivated. I share something with every lesbian, gay and transgender person in the Ft Lauderdale area. To show up does not only mean you want to have fun. But you are attending an event in which there are people that think similarly to you. People that have similar aspirations as you, people that respect you because you accept who they are. This very loosely constitutes our community down here. And I am not saying that because of this I am going to have the same ideas and points of view as every single member of the LGBT community. Finding the meaning of pride is important for each individual. But it is more spectacular when several thousand individuals share this feeling. As always, there were very few transgender folk but at least we had our little table a banner and some brochures to give out. Sunday was pretty much the same except I enjoyed G's company, which kept the booth lively and full of laughs. People watching can be lots of fun, but like G said the foot long crispy hot dog was the highlite of the day, yum! Birthday-wise, I enjoyed some thai on Saturday and on Sunday I dragged G to my mom's for some of her delicious home cooking. I was surprised G behaved so well, his mom raised him well, after all. G got to meet my mom and my sis, and we all had a good time. Well, it seems it's time to go back to Oblivion.
There are too many things in the world that are wrong. I am a mere observer and I really don't think I am a catalyst of tremendous changing powers. All I hope is that my words touch you, reader. Maybe you will understand, maybe you will shrug and go to the next blogger, maybe you will secretly admire me. If I nudged your consciousness, I'll feel content.
What's all this about transgender?, you may ask. All my fellow sisters know the drill, but a mainstream audience may look at a tg site and make up a wrong notion of us. Transgender is not about sexuality but more about gender identity. Transgender is more about a journey than a mere fetish. A transgender person is just another human being trying to live in this world. We work, breathe and eat like any other human being. Unfortunately, for some misjudgement, we don't have the same rights most citizens have. Why is that? Just wanted to make you aware thats' all :-)